Episode 3: Ready to WIN in the game of life? Then setting boundaries is the way to go! There’s an equation to a successful life but it includes setting boundaries. But how can you institute something without having a clear understanding? There are 3 three things you must know and something you want to do in this episode of Mastering Your Monday Podcast.
Do you find yourself spending most of your day putting out fires? Are you losing train of thought more often? Do you feel like you keep dropping the ball on simple things that weren’t a problem before? Or maybe, you feel no-one can do it as good or as quick as you can, in fact, it’s just easier to take care of it yourself! I get it! It’s a constant battle and unless we start making some changes, it may mean that we lose the war.
But you have the magic shield, the full armor, the mighty punch, and that my friend, is BOUNDARIES!
Why Setting Boundaries is Important
If you like playing games, board games, card games, video games, whatever the game, there is only one way to WIN, and that begins with a strategy.
So if we plan on winning in the game of LIFE, well, of course, we need a strategy. But you also need to understand the rules in order to devise the best winning strategy. A strategy is your game plan, and boundaries are the rules of the game. Your boundaries are your foundation, your Ace in the hole, your wild card you can slap out at a moment’s notice.
But if the rules, boundaries for us, haven’t been defined and distributed, it becomes a frustrating mess! So let’s look at a few equations I want you to mentally remember . . .
Equations:
- Boundaries + Strategy = WIN
- >boundaries = >peace
- Strategy*Wisdom = Exponential Winning
Setting Boundaries At Work and At Home
Just like in our personal lives, in our professional lives, we have to set limits. It’s important to our ability to command respect and lead. As highly driven individuals we’re constantly giving to others, taking care of others, fixing others, and end the day running on fumes and completely depleted.
We are not finding the time or even the inclination to really care about our minds and body until they decide to go on strike. The sad truth of the matter is, if we’re not putting needed boundaries in place at work, then we’re more than likely not putting them in place at home. In fact, not meeting the demand we have “accepted” on ourselves has in some ways made us feel a sense of failure.
Taking Ownership and Responsibility For the boundaries in Our lives
Did you notice I said, “demands, we have accepted?” Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend say, in their book Boundaries, that, Boundaries define what is US and what is NOT US. A boundary shows us where we end and someone else begins, leading to a sense of ownership.
When we embrace this responsibility and ownership we protect ourselves from manipulation, toxic environments, and unbalance in our lives. Having boundaries is, in a sense, us exercising control over our lives.
Having boundaries allow us to release the incapacitating guilt we feel toward unwarranted expectations. We have a responsibility TO others as fellow human beings, but we do not have responsibility FOR them. We have a responsibility for ourselves.
So Where Do We Start with setting healthy boundaries
I just couldn’t leave you without a way out, the formulation for a plan, so today I want to leave you with two questions:
- What are some boundaries you see that would greatly benefit you if you have them in your life right now?
- Why don’t you have those boundaries in place now, what has kept you from implementing them?
Low self-esteem
People pleasing
Unrealistic expectations or beliefs
Neediness
Fear to the backlash
Stew on these for a few and if you’d like to take this further contact me at the link below. I also want to give you a gift, so use the same link and click on “Gratitude” because we can’t have healthy boundaries without gratitude!
Until next time,
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